Donut run before the day even gets going — this pink box is heavier than my self-control and the glaze already won. Tell me which one you're stealing first.
Donut run before the day even gets going — this pink box is heavier than my self-control and the glaze already won. Tell me which one you're stealing first.
My jewelry box lost the argument tonight — I'm wearing more gold than fabric and every chain has a job to do. Come dig for treasure?
Civic duty done, and the only thing I'm endorsing tonight is where I stuck this sticker. Now get over here and tell me if democracy looks this good on you too.
National Sandwich Day pulled me straight to the deli counter and this pastrami stack is taller than my patience — the blazer already lost its only button somewhere around the first bite. Come slide into this booth and claim the second half?
Deviled eggs for breakfast and the piping bag has a mind of its own — filling on my wrist, robe wide open, not even pretending to be careful. First one over here gets fed straight from the bag.
Deep Fried Clams Day dragged me all the way to the water, and this basket came out of the fryer about two minutes ago. Grab a stool before I work through the whole thing myself?
Halloween's over and I'm sorting the candy spoils in nothing but a candy necklace — the good stuff is already half gone. Come claim your favorite before I eat that one too.
Halloween morning and the whole kitchen smells like warm caramel and trouble — the apples only get one coat, I clearly don't. Tell me what you're dressing up as tonight and I'll tell you what's under mine.
Trying on my Halloween costume early and honestly the horns are doing all the heavy lifting — everything else just refused to stay on. Come tell me what you'd make me do with this pitchfork.
National Oatmeal Day means warm oats in bed and nothing else on. The honey's already on my skin and this spoon needs a better mouth than mine.