Santa doesn't drink, so the wine cellar I stocked thirty years ago has been all mine. Found a bottle older than half my elves and brought cherry turnovers down to keep it company. Care to share a glass, naughty elf? 💋
Santa doesn't drink, so the wine cellar I stocked thirty years ago has been all mine. Found a bottle older than half my elves and brought cherry turnovers down to keep it company. Care to share a glass, naughty elf? 💋
National Burger Day at the North Pole — Santa's idea of grilling is burning hot dogs over a candle, so I fired up the real thing out back. Got ketchup on my cheek and my apron's barely hanging on, but nobody's complaining about the view. Care to come tell me how you like yours, naughty elf? 💋
National Just Because Day — so I took Santa's favorite chair, put on his hat, and took off absolutely everything else. Just because. Want to come sit in his spot, naughty elf? 💋
Santa's name is on the building but I sign every check and hire every elf — so tonight I took his chair, his desk, and his view, and I'm celebrating with a cherry popsicle he'll never know went missing. Want to come see who's really in charge, naughty elf? 💋
It's Kiss and Make Up Day and Santa swears I hung this mistletoe above his desk just for him. Come tell me who you think I'm really waiting under it for, naughty elf. 💋
National Waffle Day seemed like the perfect excuse to drag the waffle iron upstairs — and I don't mean to Santa's side of the bed. The thing's still steaming and I've got more whipped cream than I know what to do with. Care to help me clean up, creamy snowball? 💋
It's National Sponge Cake Day and I've been in the kitchen since before dawn — flour on my skin, batter on my fingers, and an apron that keeps sliding off my shoulders. Santa's still asleep and I've got nobody to taste-test for me... care to volunteer, naughty elf? 💋
National Senior Citizens Day — and Santa qualifies twice over, but I still get carded every time I sneak down to Honolulu. Come tell me I don't look a day over twenty-five, naughty elf. 💋
World Photography Day and I just found the old contact sheet from that pin-up shoot — the one Santa still thinks was "just a holiday poster." Recreated the pose for old times' sake, only this time the camera's mine and I decide how far it goes. Want to see the new version, naughty elf? 💋
Santa's sleigh hasn't left the ground in months and it's National Aviation Day — seems a shame to let all that beautiful leather just sit idle. I used to love the way the harness straps felt against bare skin on a long flight. Want to ride shotgun, naughty elf? 💋